牢骚。

I hate this. I am just losing all my patience. I tried so hard and did my best but yet failed. I am helpless. I don’t know how to be the person that I want to be. I don’t know how to reach the level that I want to reach. It seems so impossible for me now. I don’t know who are there to help me. I am just not going to meet my target.

I want a new start, a complete change for me to re-structure all over again. I hate to be here. I don’t want to be here. I want to leave. It is best if I could leave all these things behind me first and have a long rest but it is impossible. No one in this society is allowed to be like this. It is childish and spoilt. I don’t mind to act childish and spoilt if these are my true feelings but this is not allowed by the society. So, I am forced to hide my true feeling. I am facing difficulty on adapting myself into the society as how people hoping me to be.

I want to be myself. I want to be encouraged. I want someone to tell me that you are great you are doing your best already I know just keep going you can do it. I hate it. I hate that we are not allowed to be weak for just a moment. I am pressured.